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"O N E F O O T I N T H E G R A V E"
A comedy series about the trials of retirement.
Written by David Renwick.
Starring Richard Wilson as a natural pessimist.
Also starring Annette Crosbie as his long suffering wife.
Episode Guide v1.8beta by Paul Burgin
Last Updated 20 November 2000
-+---------------------------+-
Introduction:
-------------
The first episode of One Foot In The Grave premiered on BBC1 on 4th January
1990. The final episode was first shown on BBC1 on 21th November 2000.
All episodes are approximately 30 minutes unless stated otherwise.
The 'BBCV' numbers in the guide are the BBC video-tape catalogue numbers. See
the end of this guide for more video-tape information and for BBC contact
addresses.
Warning: The guide contains some *spoilers* (the episode summaries avoid some
of the fine plot details, but in general do aim to be comprehensive).
-+---------------------------+-
Cast of Regular Characters:
---------------------------
Victor Meldrew..................................................Richard Wilson
Margaret Meldrew...............................................Annette Crosbie
Jean Warboys.....................................................Doreen Mantle
Nick Swainey......................................................Owen Brenman
Patrick Trench...................................................Angus Deayton
Pippa Trench...................................................Janine Duvitski
Ronnie...........................................................Gordon Peters
Mildred..........................................Jean Challis/Barbara Ashcroft
Derek McVitie................................................Tim Brooke-Taylor
Betty McVitie................................................Marian McLoughlin
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Theme Song Lyrics:
------------------
They say I might as well face the truth
That I am just too long in the tooth
So I'm an OAP and weak knee'd
But I am not yet quite gone to seed
I may be over the hill now that I have retired
Fading away but I'm not yet expired
Whacked out, run down, too old to save
One foot in the grave
They say I might as well face the truth
That I am just too long in the tooth
I've started to deteriorate
And now I'm past my own sell-by date
Oh I'm no spring chicken it's true
I have to pop my teeth in to chew
My old knees are starting to knock
I've just got too many miles on the clock
So I'm wrinkly crinkly set in my ways
It's true that my body has seen better days
But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave
One foot in the grave
-+---------------------------+-
Series 1 (Mono)
4 Jan 1990 - 8 Feb 1990
01 - Alive And Buried [1] [2]
BBCV 5151 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double)
At the age of 60, and after 26 years of loyal service, Victor is retired from
his job as a security guard for Watson-Mycroft. He's replaced by a box and
a recorded message ("it does everything you used to do... except complain
about the air conditioning!") Victor makes a fuss when he calls to collect his
car from the garage, he's none too pleased when the man from the Outward Bound
Scheme for the Elderly calls, he thinks about compiling the Observers Book of
Crap in Your Front Lawn, gets arrested for curb crawling, digs out his sticky
guillotine, and likens Nicholas Ridley to a dust cart. Still, maybe a surprise
party will cheer him up?
02 - The Big Sleep
BBCV 5151 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double)
The neighbours throw a noisy party, and throw yet more litter into the
Meldrews garden. There's a fright in store for the window cleaning girl, and
plenty for Victor when he reads the medical dictionary. His rash definitely
isn't only in his imagination, but the doctor is puzzled by it and seeks
Victor's own diagnosis. The Meldrews go to a health and fitness class but find
that everyone's dropping like flies. They attend an atheist funeral and
receive a visit from the Jehovah's Witness police. As the fog descends on
suburbia Victor wakes up thinking he's dead... and attempts to assault God.
03 - The Valley Of Fear [3]
BBCV 5151 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double)
The Meldrews host a crime prevention meeting after they twice become the
victims of crime. Firstly Victor is mugged whilst photographing the sunset
over Bluebell Wood, and secondly the legend 'The Man Who Lives Here Is A Turd'
is scrawled across the side of their house. Victor traps Mrs Birkett in the
loft, discovers a frosty feline in the freezer, hires some hapless plumbers,
and falls asleep watching Prisoner: Cell Block H. Finally Victor snaps and
takes definitive action to reclaim his stolen jacket. Or is it? Is Mrs Warboys
safe with that hand-grenade? And what's that smell over by the sideboard?
04 - I'll Retire To Bedlam
BBCV 5152 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double)
A trying time for Victor when he is first trapped in the shed for 3.5 hours,
then stuck in the opticians for a day with his eyes shut. Then to top it all
the greatest horror becomes a reality - a day baby-sitting Iris's kids.
05 - The Eternal Quadrangle
BBCV 5152 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double)
Margaret is pleased when Victor takes up a new hobby, but regrets her
encouragement when she discovers that he's been painting a nude and giving
the model a lift home afterwards.
06 - The Return Of The Speckled Band
BBCV 5152 (single) / BBCV 5387 (double) / BBCV 6462 (best of)
It's holiday time for the Meldrews but Victor's scared of flying. Then things
get worse when suburbia is invaded by reptiles.
--
Series 2 (Mono)
4 Oct 1990 - 15 Nov 1990
07 - In Luton Airport, No-One Can Hear You Scream
BBCV 5834 (single)
Victor and Margaret return from holiday to find that their baggage has been
sent to the other side of the world and their house has been demolished
following a terrible fire. They attempt to cheer themselves up by holding a
house warming party.
08 - We Have Put Her Living In The Tomb
BBCV 5834 (single)
The Meldrews begin the task of decorating the new house, and are entrusted
with the responsibility of tortoise sitting for Margaret's god-daughter.
Disaster is lurking amongst the grass cuttings.
09 - Dramatic Fever
BBCV 5834 (single)
Victor writes a hilarious script for a new comedy series. Unfortunately
no-one else finds it funny. Margaret also catches the dramatic fever and takes
up acting.
10 - Who Will Buy? [4] [5]
BBCV 5835 (single)
Victor gobbles the whisky and smarties and attempts to fend off a bendy
dinosaur salesman. Meanwhile, Pippa suspects that Victor is responsible for
the murder of an elderly blind man. A benefit concert gives Victor the chance
to resurrect Cuthbert the dummy and air his ventriloquist skills.
11 - Love And Death
BBCV 5835 (single)
The Meldrews take a weekend visit to see Vince and April in their boarding
house on the south coast. Vince presents Victor with a most unusual and
unwelcome gift.
12 - Timeless Time+
BBCV 5835 (single)
What with the car alarms, sparrows and dead hedgehogs, Victor is unable to
sleep. He kindly ensures that Margaret also gets no peace. Things get so
desperate that Victor contemplates opening Ronnie and Mildred's Christmas
present from last year - but no, he's not quite that desperate.
--
Christmas Special 1990 (Mono)
27 Dec 1990
13 - Who's Listening? (aka One Foot In The Christmas Grave) (1:00) [4]
BBCV 5424 (single)
A series of coincidences leads Victor to believe that someone really is
watching him. And on top of this, the accidental delivery of 263 garden gnomes
does nothing to cheer up Victor's Christmas.
--
Christmas Special 1991 (Stereo)
30 Dec 1991
14 - The Man In The Long Black Coat (0:50) [4] [6]
BBCV 5424 (single)
Victor is none too pleased to receive a cake bearing the message 'Tosser' and
vows continue his conflict with Patrick from next door. Meanwhile, the
neighbourhood is concerned about the safety of the radioactive manure that
Victor bought for his allotment from a mysterious stranger. Enter the man from
the council's Health and Safety Department.
--
Series 3 (Stereo)
2 Feb 1992 - 8 Mar 1992
15 - Monday Morning Will Be Fine
BBCV 4971 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double)
Victor and Margaret return from a shopping trip to discover that the house has
been burgled - and the neighbours helped out! How can they survive without
television?
16 - Dreamland
BBCV 4971 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double) / BBCV 6462 (best of)
Mrs Warboys tells the story of how Margaret went missing following a series of
haunting dreams. Mr Swainey evades Victor's attempts to nail the fence closed
and invites the Meldrews round to see his pigeons. Then Victor buys an awful
sweater and some spooky second hand shoes and has a rather nasty experience at
the fete. But shhh.. I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence!
17 - The Broken Reflection [4]
BBCV 4971 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double) / BBCV 6462 (best of)
Patrick and Pippa quite rightly fear the worst when they ask Victor and
Margaret to look after their house whilst they are on holiday. For when Victor
seeks revenge for the litter thrown into his garden, it goes terribly wrong.
Victor's brother Alfred from New Zealand comes to stay, but leaves feeling
somewhat less than welcome.
18 - The Beast In The Cage+ [6]
BBCV 4972 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double)
A day out turns into a nightmare for Victor, Margaret and Mrs Warboys when
the bank holiday traffic comes to a standstill on the motorway. Trapped
in the car staring at a horse's back end for 4.5 hours, the unfetted misery is
almost too much for Victor to cope with. He suffers from prickly heat and
electric shocks, and picks fights with the occupants of other cars. There's a
defect in his ice cube, a rumble in his stomach, a chorus of mechanics on his
jazz tape, and worst of all there's Derek Jameson on the radio!
19 - Beware The Trickster On The Roof [4] [7]
BBCV 4972 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double)
Suburban life is disrupted when Mr Swainey returns from holiday with an evil
talisman in the form of a gift paperweight. Victor has trouble ordering a
cab, disturbs Margaret with his teddy bear surgery and is astonished when
he receives a phone call from the burglars (see episode 15) asking for
a manual to help program their video recorder. Patrick and Pippa have more
trouble selling their house, especially when a rampaging beast escapes from
the Meldrews back garden. And is Mrs Stebbin's TV aerial grinning at Victor?
20 - The Worst Horror Of All [8]
BBCV 4972 (single) / BBCV 5809 (double)
Victor and Margaret attempt to avoid another dreaded visit from Ronnie and
Mildred. But are Victor's commando tactics up to the task? They visit a TV
studio to see a new sitcom, together with a window cleaner picked up by Mrs
Warboys. Victor is overjoyed when he finally gets a decent job offer (as the
doorman at a posh hotel) but after being insulted by a guest in an obvious wig
he decides that retirement the better option after all.
--
Series 4 (Stereo)
31 Jan 1993 - 7 Mar 1993
21 - The Pit & The Pendulum [4]
BBCV 5298 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double)
Victor decides that Patrick's cherry tree is the cause of his garden being dry
and enlists a caveman to cultivate the stray roots. But only when it's too
late does he learn that the pit could have a secondary use. Meanwhile,
Victor's tropical fish keep dying, Margaret's mother passes away, and
Patrick's dog goes missing. Patrick feels the pinch when something escapes
from Victor's discarded bin liner full of seaweed.
22 - Descent Into The Maelstrom [9]
BBCV 5298 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double)
Margaret collapses from nervous exhaustion, but after a few days of Victor's
loving care decides to go back to work in order to get some peace and quiet.
Andrea Temple visits Margaret with a baby that has a mysterious fondness for
garden gnomes. Mr Swainey damages his back fixing the Meldrews waste disposal
unit and indulges in some rather dangerous archery practice ("I expect you
think I've gone completely off my head!") Victor is clumsy with the iron, has
a bad experience in an Indian restaurant, visits the Rat Catcher's Rest to
reclaim a lost video recorder or two, accumulates not one but two gorilla
outfits, and keeps quiet about the disappearance of Margaret's pearl earrings.
23 - Hearts Of Darkness
BBCV 5298 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double)
Victor, Margaret, Mrs Warboys and Mr Swainey take a trip into the countryside
but nothing seems to go according to plan. As usual, Victor manages to annoy
the other tourists. Mr Swainey rows them into trouble in the middle of a misty
lake... or so it appears. When the rains come down they take refuge in an
abandoned van. Victor and Mrs Warboys form a new bond but soon they all admit
that they are lost and Victor is sent off alone to find civilisation. He
stumbles upon a home for the elderly where the residents are being abused by
the staff and hatches a plot for their liberation.
24 - Warm Champagne [4]
BBCV 5297 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double) / BBCV 6462 (best of)
The Meldrews return from holiday to find their house being used as cricket
stumps. But Victor has sunburnt feet and so cannot give chase. Then a J.L.
Mowbray arrives and swiftly erects a joke pub sign "The Pain In The Arse",
although this is arguably more attractive than the holiday momento that Victor
hangs in the lounge. Margaret meets up with Ben, an acquaintance that she made
on holiday, and is surprised to find another woman in her bed when she
returns. And so is Victor! Their new bedroom lighting is a bit surprising too.
Patrick finds the key to Victor's shed and sees his chance to taste revenge by
informing Victor that his dog has eaten it. Unfortunately his plans are later
revealed when Pippa types up Victor's letter to the dairy but accidentally
prints out Patrick's "diary" file instead.
25 - The Trial+
BBCV 5297 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double) / BBCV 6462 (best of)
Victor spends a day at home whilst on-call for jury service. He contemplates
his various ailments once again, gets a letter from a disgruntled Jehovah's
Witness, attempts to write a reply to Alfred, tackles a difficult crossword,
and struggles to save himself from a blow-by-blow account of Mrs Warboys'
holiday in Corke. There's something hairy in his loaf of bread, and something
leafy in his toilet bowl!
26 - Secret Of The Seven Sorcerers [4]
BBCV 5297 (single) / BBCV 5646 (double)
The Meldrews invite Patrick and Pippa round for a friendly meal, but Patrick
is distinctly worried about what horrors might befall them. Luckily they
escape the threat of Victor's deadly curry when it is accidentally drunk by
the window cleaner. But many surprises are still left lurking in the lounge
when Mr Henstridge has a funny turn and Victor's conjuring group has to leave
in a hurry. Mrs Warboys achieves an unexpected result when she arranges for a
private investigator to follow her husband. Victor suffers from a plague of
firemen, and becomes a lollipop man... but then he hears about Psycho Sam.
--
Comic Relief Special (Stereo)
Red Nose Day 1993
27 - Untitled+ (0:07) [10]
Victor attempts to summon the self-control that it takes to leave a nice
relaxing bath. He contemplates life's imponderables and receives an
interesting phone call.
--
Christmas Special 1993 (Stereo)
26 Dec 1993
28 - One Foot In The Algarve (1:32) [11] [12] [13]
BBCV 5183 (single)
Victor, Margaret and Mrs Warboys embark upon a hellish holiday in Portugal.
They are quietly followed by accident prone freelance photographer Martin
Trout, who believes them to have inadvertently lifted a reel of film that
could earn him ten thousand pounds. After collecting their hire car (with free
hair conditioner), a slow drive, a quick stop for Victor to almost sell Mrs
Warboys into prostitution, and a brush with the police, they finally arrive at
their not-so-luxury villa. On reflection they agree that it probably wasn't a
wise decision to book through the adverts in Zit magazine! Mrs Warboys senses
romance in the air with her pen-friend Afonso. But what exactly happened to
his ex-wife? And then she goes missing in suspicious circumstances. The
Meldrews discover that they brought the wrong suitcase with them, and Victor's
only aftershave is strangely attractive to donkeys. Victor gets friendly with
local shop girl Isabella after giving her the Heimlich manoeuvre. This is no
comfort Margaret, who is privately starting to feel her age. British boxer
Hugo Lennox is staying nearby and trying to work up an aggression... Victor is
able help out, as always.
--
Christmas Special 1994 (Stereo)
25 Dec 1994
29 - The Man Who Blew Away* (0:40) [4] [14]
BBCV 6277 (single)
The Meldrew household plays host to Mr Foskitt, a suicidal stranger from the
past, who they know only because they stayed in the same Weston Super-Mare
guest house 17 years ago. He also has an impact on Patrick's proposed audit
for Leibnitz and Wang. Someone has been tampering with Victor's Christmas
Crackers, and the Meldrews are decidedly unhappy when their stolen car is
finally returned.
--
Series 5 (Stereo)
1 Jan 1995 - 29 Jan 1995
30 - Only A Story
BBCV 5652 (single)
Mrs Warboys comes to stay with the Meldrews whilst her flat dries out after a
flood. Victor suffers a most unpleasant kitchen accident, tries a bit of
so-called reflexology, has a run-in with a chimney sweep, and gets mistaken
for newspaper editor Mildred Herring. Maybe a night with Mr Swainey's Dixon of
Dock-Green Appreciation Society will provide the excitement he needs?
31 - The Affair Of The Hollow Lady [15]
BBCV 6277 (single)
Everyone is stunned when Mrs Warboys has a wax model of herself made as the
prize from a competition. Millicent the local greengrocer takes a fancy to
Victor and attempts to claim him from Margaret. But Victor's only interest is
in football. He inconveniences a locksmith and wonders where the fridge has
disappeared to.
32 - Rearranging The Dust+
BBCV 5652 (single)
The Meldrews suffer a long wait in their solicitor's waiting room. Victor
observes the strange habits of the other visitors, fidgets impatiently, and
finally attacks a dog with a cake. Margaret remembers the first time they
kissed.
33 - Hole In The Sky [3] [4] [16]
BBCV 6277 (single)
Margaret and Pippa once more attempt to get Victor and Patrick to bury the
hatchet but the result is no less of a disaster than usual. Victor restores a
Dutch girl marionette and experiments with some deadly seafood cookery.
Meanwhile, the McKendrick brothers are hired again for the Meldrews loft
conversion but Margaret gets increasingly tired of Lawrence's practical jokes.
Victor pushes Patrick to the very limit of madness when simply attempting to
return some lost money. Margaret has the worst day of all when she too lands
one foot in the grave.
34 - The Exterminating Angel [17]
BBCV 5652 (single)
Romance is in the air for Mr Swainey when he finally invites Tania the nurse
out for a date. Victor takes a job as a chauffeur but rapidly wipes out his
employers beloved fleet through a series of Victor-esque mishaps. He also has
trouble with the shower and the shopping, and visits the dentist. Ronnie and
Mildred invite Margaret and Victor round for the evening... but beware of the
bottomless pit in the garage.
--
Christmas Special 1995 (Stereo)
25 Dec 1995
35 - The Wisdom Of The Witch (1:00) [4]
BBCV 5942 (single)
Trouble stirs when Patrick and Pippa move house. When they end up staying a
wintery night with the Meldrew's who knows exactly who will survive the
experience?
--
Christmas Special 1996 (Stereo)
26 Dec 1996
36 - Starbound (1:00) [4] [18]
BBCV 6202 (single)
Victor acts rather strangely after starting a new job as a gardener. Why is he
collecting used false limbs? Who is that man living in Victor's shed? And why
does he decide to trim the carpet with a grass cutting machine?
--
Christmas Special 1997 (Stereo)
25 Dec 1997
37 - Endgame (1:10) [19]
BBCV 6593 (single)
Numerous disasters unfold after victor buys a haunted caravan. His plans
for a quiet trip to the West Country have an eerie and utterly terrifying
conclusion.
--
Series 6 (Stereo) (Widescreen)
16 Oct 2000 - 20 Nov 2000
38 - The Executioner's Song
39 - Tales Of Terror
40 - The Futility Of The Fly
41 - Threatening Weather+
42 - ?
43 - Things Aren't Simple Any More (0:45)
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Episode List Key:
-----------------
+single scene episodes
*also considered to be episode 1 of series 5
-+---------------------------+-
Notable Guest Appearances:
--------------------------
[1] Susie Blake (Victoria Wood)
[2] Valerie Minifie (Men Behaving Badly)
[3] Christopher Ryan (The Young Ones)
[4] Angus Deayton (Have I Got News For You)
[5] Jimmy Jewel (Spring And Autumn)
[6] Eric Idle (Monty Python) [18 is voice only] [also sings the main theme]
[7] Hilda Braid (Citizen Smith)
[8] Harold Goodwin
[9] Helen Lederer (Naked Video)
[10] Paul Merton (Have I Got News For You) [voice only]
[11] Peter Cook (Not Only... But Also...)
[12] Joan Sims (Carry On)
[13] Craig Ferguson (The Craig Ferguson Show)
[14] Bryan Murphy (George And Mildred)
[15] Barbara Windsor (Eastenders)
[16] Michael Fenton-Stevens (KYTV)
[17] John Bird (A Very Peculiar Practice)
[18] Rula Lenska
[19] Tim Brooke-Taylor (The Goodies)
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Additional Information:
-----------------------
All episodes except series 6 and the Comic Relief special are available on
UK PAL VHS video from the BBC.
All video releases are rated PG or below. BBCV 5834 and BBCV 5835 are
exceptions to the usual BBC pricing as they are part of the "Right Price
Comedy" range and usually sell for GBP 6.99-7.99. BBCV 5834 was previously
available as full price release BBCV 4832; similarly BBCV 5835 was previously
available as BBCV 4833. These original tapes have now been deleted.
BBCV 5652 and BBCV 6277 together contain series 5 but not in the correct
episode order. BBCV 5652 contains 'Rearranging The Dust', 'Only A Story' and
'The Exterminating Angel', whilst the newer tape contains the remaining three
episodes.
BBCV 6462 is a single tape entitled "The Very Best Of One Foot In The Grave".
It contains the following five episodes from series one, three and four: 'The
Return Of The Speckled Band', 'Dreamland', 'The Broken Reflection', 'Warm
Champagne' and 'The Trial'.
Some of the early video releases were labelled with incorrect series numbers
for series 2 and 3. Many of the single videos are now scarce or deleted.
A hardback book containing stories based on the series has been available from
BBC books. Several cassettes in the BBC Audio Collection are also available.
Various Victor Meldrew books, T-shirts and other merchendise are available
from the BBC and others.
What is the Meldrews address and telephone number?
Series 1: 37 Wyngate Drive, Tel. 770301
Series 2 onwards: 19 Riverbank, Tel. 4291
Please submit comments and corrections via http://burgins.com/mail.html;
however please do not send me video trading requests or requests for addresses
of merchandise suppliers. I have no information on the availability of videos
or other merchandise outside of the UK.
For information on One Foot In The Grave video releases please contact the
BBC directly. The address is: BBC Worldwide Ltd, 80 Wood Lane, London,
W12 0TT, England. Tel +44 181 576 2000.
For the BBC on-line shop surf to URL http://www.beeb.com
The latest update to this episode guide can be found on the author's web site
at URL http://www.burgins.com/onefootinthegrave.html
Most of the theme song lyrics were typed up by Jim McGrew. They were, of
course, written and performed by Eric Idle.
ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE is Copyright 1989-2000 BBC Television
THIS EPISODE GUIDE is Copyright 1995-2000 by Paul Burgin